THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR AFTERIMAGE/BOOK 2 IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THROUGH CHAPTER FOUR YET. DO NOT READ BELOW IF SO.
Ok that should be enough warning right? ;p
I have to admit that I'm intrigued and a bit confused by some of the response we've been getting so far to Afterimage as it pertains to Boyd, and why doesn't he see what's happening with Sin. Not a lot of people have mentioned it, but I'm curious as to why anyone feels that way.
The part that confuses me is why he would know what's going on. We mentioned in narration that Sin has become very good at lying-- in a way, he always was. Think about how Boyd didn't know exactly how much pain Sin was in when in the car that one ride-- he knew Sin was sick or didn't feel well, but it wasn't until Boyd saw Sin on the hidden camera later that he realized exactly the extent of Sin's injuries. Sin is used to needing to hide his weaknesses, to displacing doubt or questions, to making people believe what he wants.
Granted, from the start Boyd knew that Sin was lying about being such a tough guy, but it didn't mean he knew exactly who or what was beneath. And the explanations Sin has been giving make sense -- Boyd knows Sin isn't feeling well, but it's completely logical to believe that it's because of the lack of sleep, because Sin's stressed again after Monterrey, because he's recovering from all the crap he went through. Whenever Boyd has seen any weakness at all Sin has shown, it's always been in the context of something explainable as being tired.
Anyone who's gone a long period of time with very little sleep is going to get weak, exhausted, sick-- even Sin. Boyd knows how little sleep Sin's been getting, and he knows that Sin's been having nightmares. Neither of these things are new; it's been that way since he met Sin. It's just that now Sin's getting even less sleep than normal so the nightmares are hitting Sin harder-- at least, that's what Boyd thinks. And the fact that Sin had a taste of relaxation then went through hell after that... Boyd's been through his own versions of hell before so he understands that it takes awhile to get back on track. And they haven't been able to spend a ton of time together either, so all the times he sees Sin looking worse, it makes sense that it's because Sin hasn't been sleeping, and with that probably comes not eating well, not exercising, etc.
The times when Boyd has wondered if there was a little more going on, Sin has given a perfectly logical explanation that diverts attention while also falling completely in line with what Boyd understands of the situation. He has no reason to suspect that Sin is seeing things, hearing things, that he thinks he's going crazy. The only reason Carhart figured anything out is because he happened to see Sin almost fall off the roof, and because Sin has been especially careful to hide everything from Boyd.
We initially had a much longer chapter 1 which included more narration, so part of me wonders if there was some key element that we took out that would make sense to those readers who are confused by that. Or is it because we don't have a lot of specific examples?
The part that intrigues me is I wonder if we'd be getting the same response if this were set up the same way Book One was -- all in Boyd's POV.
I mean, think about it. If this whole story was told through Boyd's POV, if you weren't seeing Sin's side of things, you wouldn't even know that Sin's going through that. So why would Boyd know just because the readers do? Is it just that it seems like Boyd should get something more is happening after a few months of this? I'm very curious/confused about this.
At any rate, I love getting feedback because sometimes peoples' responses aren't what I'm expecting, so it makes it interesting ^_^
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
A lot going on lately..
Kids, school, work and a new...whatever she is, has been tying up my time lately and keeping me from working on all of the things I want to work on. Afterimage writing has been going steadily but my side stories have been put on hold as well as my ideas for a novel I'd write solo (although I got another idea today). It's kind of frustrating but whatever. Things will get done when they get done and I doubt anyone really misses the updates anyway.
In other news, I'm excited because we've plotted out the series until the official end of all major storylines which would either bring this series to an official close so we could move on to different plots or ideas for the remaining characters. So far we're planning on several stand alone stories to further the plot after Afterimage, another multi-part "book" called Fade and then a final multi-part that is unnamed as of now. Even if people lose interest and stop reading, the fact that we can possible have such a lengthy series written to completion is exciting to me although I don't necessarily know if we'll keep posting if interest dwindles because really what would be the point?
In other news, I'm excited because we've plotted out the series until the official end of all major storylines which would either bring this series to an official close so we could move on to different plots or ideas for the remaining characters. So far we're planning on several stand alone stories to further the plot after Afterimage, another multi-part "book" called Fade and then a final multi-part that is unnamed as of now. Even if people lose interest and stop reading, the fact that we can possible have such a lengthy series written to completion is exciting to me although I don't necessarily know if we'll keep posting if interest dwindles because really what would be the point?
Saturday, October 4, 2008
lolz
Ok, srsly folks, I'll stop bombarding the blog soon.
But it amused me just now to realize I had three chapters open at the same time and I was somehow trying to read/edit all at once. I had them open for awhile and then all these things happened that distracted me (like phone calls) and when I came back I got very confused when I looked at the list of chapters 4, 5 and 17, and couldn't figure out which one I was supposed to be working on XD
Firefox: 1
Ais: 0
wtf ftw
But it amused me just now to realize I had three chapters open at the same time and I was somehow trying to read/edit all at once. I had them open for awhile and then all these things happened that distracted me (like phone calls) and when I came back I got very confused when I looked at the list of chapters 4, 5 and 17, and couldn't figure out which one I was supposed to be working on XD
Firefox: 1
Ais: 0
wtf ftw
A secret of Ais', and pronunciation
It is one of my life's ambitions for someone to call me "Infidel."
It has to be in completely casual conversation and it can't be a complete joke (they don't have to seriously mean it but it has to be deadpanned or otherwise seemingly serious even if they aren't) but it can be offhandedly said ("Ais, you're such an infidel. Like I was saying..."). And it has to be unsolicited-- so it won't count if someone calls me infidel now just because they read this entry and know I want someone to.
I'm going to be so excited on the day it happens...
By the way, it came up in conversation the other day about how to pronounce my name. If you pronounce it like "ice" you are WRONG. But you are also like everyone else I've talked to. (I guess I can see why people say it that way? But it never even occurred to me that anyone would.) I say it like "ace."
It's short for Aislin. Which I actually found out I also pronounce incorrectly, technically, if you're going according to how it should be said in Gaelic *cough* But I take no responsibility for this because all the research I initially did led me to believe that it was pronounced "ACE-linn." (It's apparently pronounced Ash-lynn).
I AM AN INNOCENT VICTIM SLASH BYSTANDER SLASH PASSERBY! And that's is all I have to say about that. ;p
It has to be in completely casual conversation and it can't be a complete joke (they don't have to seriously mean it but it has to be deadpanned or otherwise seemingly serious even if they aren't) but it can be offhandedly said ("Ais, you're such an infidel. Like I was saying..."). And it has to be unsolicited-- so it won't count if someone calls me infidel now just because they read this entry and know I want someone to.
I'm going to be so excited on the day it happens...
By the way, it came up in conversation the other day about how to pronounce my name. If you pronounce it like "ice" you are WRONG. But you are also like everyone else I've talked to. (I guess I can see why people say it that way? But it never even occurred to me that anyone would.) I say it like "ace."
It's short for Aislin. Which I actually found out I also pronounce incorrectly, technically, if you're going according to how it should be said in Gaelic *cough* But I take no responsibility for this because all the research I initially did led me to believe that it was pronounced "ACE-linn." (It's apparently pronounced Ash-lynn).
I AM AN INNOCENT VICTIM SLASH BYSTANDER SLASH PASSERBY! And that's is all I have to say about that. ;p
Friday, October 3, 2008
Lou - reason to be missed
I really want to write Lou and Boyd back stories. We'd started to write their first kiss awhile back now-- god, those two were such dorks-- but the fic was never finished.
I've been thinking about Lou on and off lately, though, because I found a song I was obsessed with for him. Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park -- I hear this song and it immediately makes me think of his death scene, of a collage of Lou moments, of the thoughts that must have been going through his mind as he stared at Boyd but couldn't reach him, as he died and couldn't help it, as the last view he ever had of his best friend and lover was him screaming and crying and begging on the ground, held down by enemies, struggling, and sprayed in Lou's own blood.
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared
But no one would listen 'cause no one else cared
After my dreaming, I woke with this fear
What am I leaving when I'm done here?
So if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating, I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
So if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
So, since I'm on the subject, RANDOM LOU ENTRY. Someone (was it you, whynotmi?) had mentioned in a comment that they like to hear more about the writing process so here's some (interesting?) background.
Lou's a bit of a weird case because he's actually Sonny's character. Sonny created him and played him at Neulan/District9, the old RPG where I first created and played Boyd. The dynamics of Lou and Boyd's relationship there were somewhat similar, in that they were good friends who eventually had an attraction for each other, but it was a lot different because they had more than just each other. And I'm not sure they would've ended up together in the end.
When we first started writing Lou back stories, Sonny wrote Lou. But then came The Birthday. That whole period of time was some of the most fun, most efficient writing we've ever done. It was out of control. We were multi-tasking like mad. We were roleplaying Lou's death scene while Sonny wrote Sin's narration in The Birthday while I wrote all the background Boyd videos-- the beach, the kitchen scene, etc.
The original Lou death scene was pretty short, though, and when I was looking it over again I thought it needed more. (Of course I did, I'm Little Miss Description XD). So I went through and added all those details -- the blood, the expressions, etc. I guess I just wanted it to show why it would be so gut-wrenching for Boyd, why this was what pushed him far over the edge, why he shut down so completely. The original scene didn't get that visceral reaction and I was concerned that Boyd would seem lame or over-dramatic.
So now, Lou's one of the characters we share. I wrote Lou in the background videos but Sonny wrote Lou in his death scene. Sonny writes Lou in most of the back stories we're writing but I write him occasionally when I have an idea for a story and want Lou in it but don't foresee us sitting down to rp it out any time soon.
But, I don't know. I still don't really feel comfortable with him because he isn't mine, he wasn't my idea. I love the little rascal but I feel like I can't write him correctly?
This is a good reason why, should we ever have a problem where one of us drops off the face of the Earth, the story would likely not be finished. We share a lot of the ideas/etc and to an extent the characters, but there are some who are very much Sonny's or Ais's. I couldn't write Sin properly for more than a line here or there anymore than I think Sonny would feel comfortable writing Boyd.
Some day I'll have to write out some of the stories in my head...
Uh, anyway. So the whole thing I was trying to say is 1) I think that's a perfect Lou song but I don't know if Sonny would agree because I feel like I don't know for sure if I totally grasp Lou, and 2) I really like the idea of "leave out all the rest"-- of finding something to remember a person by.
I feel like by the end of Book One, not only does Boyd find some closure, but maybe Lou's spirit could too. Like Boyd was finally able to hear what Lou had wanted all along, like after all the struggle and the stupid little things Lou had done in his life and the things that became monumental horrors, all that time I think he was trying to figure out who he was and he acted tougher than he was, stronger than he was, the fear of just disappearing like his parents had, of not being remembered by someone, all those times he was there for Boyd--
There was something left behind, something more than the fear. Something that was just beautiful or good; memories that could make a person smile and not cry.
Reasons to be missed.
I've been thinking about Lou on and off lately, though, because I found a song I was obsessed with for him. Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park -- I hear this song and it immediately makes me think of his death scene, of a collage of Lou moments, of the thoughts that must have been going through his mind as he stared at Boyd but couldn't reach him, as he died and couldn't help it, as the last view he ever had of his best friend and lover was him screaming and crying and begging on the ground, held down by enemies, struggling, and sprayed in Lou's own blood.
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared
But no one would listen 'cause no one else cared
After my dreaming, I woke with this fear
What am I leaving when I'm done here?
So if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating, I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
So if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
So, since I'm on the subject, RANDOM LOU ENTRY. Someone (was it you, whynotmi?) had mentioned in a comment that they like to hear more about the writing process so here's some (interesting?) background.
Lou's a bit of a weird case because he's actually Sonny's character. Sonny created him and played him at Neulan/District9, the old RPG where I first created and played Boyd. The dynamics of Lou and Boyd's relationship there were somewhat similar, in that they were good friends who eventually had an attraction for each other, but it was a lot different because they had more than just each other. And I'm not sure they would've ended up together in the end.
When we first started writing Lou back stories, Sonny wrote Lou. But then came The Birthday. That whole period of time was some of the most fun, most efficient writing we've ever done. It was out of control. We were multi-tasking like mad. We were roleplaying Lou's death scene while Sonny wrote Sin's narration in The Birthday while I wrote all the background Boyd videos-- the beach, the kitchen scene, etc.
The original Lou death scene was pretty short, though, and when I was looking it over again I thought it needed more. (Of course I did, I'm Little Miss Description XD). So I went through and added all those details -- the blood, the expressions, etc. I guess I just wanted it to show why it would be so gut-wrenching for Boyd, why this was what pushed him far over the edge, why he shut down so completely. The original scene didn't get that visceral reaction and I was concerned that Boyd would seem lame or over-dramatic.
So now, Lou's one of the characters we share. I wrote Lou in the background videos but Sonny wrote Lou in his death scene. Sonny writes Lou in most of the back stories we're writing but I write him occasionally when I have an idea for a story and want Lou in it but don't foresee us sitting down to rp it out any time soon.
But, I don't know. I still don't really feel comfortable with him because he isn't mine, he wasn't my idea. I love the little rascal but I feel like I can't write him correctly?
This is a good reason why, should we ever have a problem where one of us drops off the face of the Earth, the story would likely not be finished. We share a lot of the ideas/etc and to an extent the characters, but there are some who are very much Sonny's or Ais's. I couldn't write Sin properly for more than a line here or there anymore than I think Sonny would feel comfortable writing Boyd.
Some day I'll have to write out some of the stories in my head...
Uh, anyway. So the whole thing I was trying to say is 1) I think that's a perfect Lou song but I don't know if Sonny would agree because I feel like I don't know for sure if I totally grasp Lou, and 2) I really like the idea of "leave out all the rest"-- of finding something to remember a person by.
I feel like by the end of Book One, not only does Boyd find some closure, but maybe Lou's spirit could too. Like Boyd was finally able to hear what Lou had wanted all along, like after all the struggle and the stupid little things Lou had done in his life and the things that became monumental horrors, all that time I think he was trying to figure out who he was and he acted tougher than he was, stronger than he was, the fear of just disappearing like his parents had, of not being remembered by someone, all those times he was there for Boyd--
There was something left behind, something more than the fear. Something that was just beautiful or good; memories that could make a person smile and not cry.
Reasons to be missed.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Children's shows, Novels & Homework
"They", the ever elusive they, make the most hideous children's shows. My three year old is watching some ridiculous cartoon... thing about talking bugs, and instead of "everybody", they say "everybuggy". If I hear it one more time I'm going to slam my face into a wall.
I have an idea for a novel and I really want to get started on it but I'm trying not to get too immersed in something else while writing Afterimage. I think I could handle it but I have all of these other ICoS projects I want to start... I don't know which I should focus all of my attention on.
The idea would be a YA or Middle Age fantasy/science fiction novel and I would seriously try to send it out and find an agent to get it published if it turns out any good. I'm inspired by the loads of bad HP fic writers getting published left and right.
But before that, I have to finish (start) my Concepts in Gaming paper, finish my Children's Lit reading (Harry Potter... god.) and catch up on Spanish. I wish I was a more industrious student but there's always so much other stuff I'd rather be doing than homework.
I have an idea for a novel and I really want to get started on it but I'm trying not to get too immersed in something else while writing Afterimage. I think I could handle it but I have all of these other ICoS projects I want to start... I don't know which I should focus all of my attention on.
The idea would be a YA or Middle Age fantasy/science fiction novel and I would seriously try to send it out and find an agent to get it published if it turns out any good. I'm inspired by the loads of bad HP fic writers getting published left and right.
But before that, I have to finish (start) my Concepts in Gaming paper, finish my Children's Lit reading (Harry Potter... god.) and catch up on Spanish. I wish I was a more industrious student but there's always so much other stuff I'd rather be doing than homework.
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